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Responding to a child's disclosure of sexual abuse
Content note: This page talks about childhood sexual abuse and its impacts. It is not graphic, but it may be distressing. Please take care of yourself while reading, and step away whenever you need to. The Quick Exit bar at the bottom of this site will close this page at any time.
If a child is in immediate danger, call Triple Zero (000). If you need to report child abuse, contact the child protection reporting authority in your state or territory. The Australian Institute of Family Studies maintains a national guide to reporting child abuse and neglect. You do not need to be certain or have proof to raise a concern.
We know that child sexual abuse is alarmingly common in Australia. 1 in 3 girls and almost 1 in 5 boys experience sexual abuse before the age of 18, and this is likely an underestimation. This means adults need to be alert to its possible occurrence and actively tuned in to signals from children that they are being sexually abused. One of the ways to know it is occurring is when children disclose their abuse.
How do children tell?
Disclosures by children and young people can look different depending on their age and developmental stage. Most children disclose their sexual abuse slowly, over time. Some might provide lots of detail, while others might share just small pieces of information to see how someone responds. Older children often try to anticipate the reaction of other people and then decide how much information to share. If a negative reaction or response is received, they are less likely to keep disclosing.
Sometimes children recant or retract what they said about abuse. This is very common and does not mean that children are lying or making up stories. It often reflects fear, pressure or the reactions of the people around them. Continue to take what they said seriously.
When children cannot say it in words
Younger children, under about six years old, are less likely to directly disclose being sexually abused. Instead, they are more likely to indirectly show signs of abuse through their behaviour, which gives clues about what happened. Behaviour changes such as becoming withdrawn or fearful, distress around particular people or places, regression in things like sleep or toileting, or knowledge and behaviour that does not fit their age can all be clues that something is wrong. No single sign is proof of abuse, but changes like these are a signal to gently pay attention, create safety, and seek advice.
Who do children disclose to?
There is consistent global evidence that younger children, up to about 14 years old, are most likely to initially tell a parent or parent-like figure, and are more likely to tell mothers than fathers. Children also sometimes tell other family members, like siblings or grandparents. As children get older and friends become more important, older teenagers are more likely to first tell a friend rather than adults like parents or teachers. These friends may then tell an adult because they are worried and want to help keep their friend safe.
Research also shows that everyday settings matter: places like schools can be safe places for young people before, during and after disclosure, when the adults there are prepared to respond well.
What helps children disclose
It is critical that adults create opportunities and a safe environment for children and young people to share what is happening in their own words. Children often fear the consequences of disclosure for themselves or their family, so they are watching closely for signals that it is safe to talk. Regular, calm, private moments together, listening without interrogating, and responding to small disclosures well all build that safety. Children who are believed and supported are more likely to keep talking, and to be protected sooner.
How to respond in the moment
Stay calm. Your steadiness tells the child they are safe.
Listen and let them use their own words. Do not press for details or ask leading questions.
Believe them, and tell them so.
Reassure them that telling you was the right thing to do, and that what happened is not their fault.
Do not promise to keep it a secret. Explain gently that you may need to talk to people whose job is to keep children safe.
Write down what was said, in the child's words, as soon as you can afterwards.
What to do next
If a child is in immediate danger, call Triple Zero (000). Otherwise, contact the child protection service in your state or territory, or the police. You do not need proof, and you do not need to investigate yourself; that is the job of the authorities. The Australian Institute of Family Studies publishes a current guide to reporting child abuse and neglect in every state and territory. If the child needs someone to talk to, Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) is a free, confidential 24/7 counselling service for children and young people.
After a disclosure, keep being a safe, steady presence. The support of non-offending family members and trusted adults plays a central role in a child's recovery. Disclosure is a process, not a one-off event, and how you respond will shape whether they feel safe to keep talking.
Sources: Left Write Hook film site Resources (Understanding and Responding to a Child's Disclosure); Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse; Australian Child Maltreatment Study; Australian Institute of Family Studies (Reporting Child Abuse and Neglect); National Centre practice tools on children's disclosure and evidence newsletter (Moore 2026, McPherson 2025, Salter 2026).